Sponge bath it is.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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