I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
