There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
