p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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