Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
