I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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