I can't watch pbs sober anymore
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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