Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
