He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
