..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
