My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
