Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
