i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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