Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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