Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
