Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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