Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
