just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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