just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
