I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
