I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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