Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
