Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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