I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
