I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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