Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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