sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
