Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
