I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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