mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
