And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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