Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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