He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
