Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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