Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
