...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
