dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
