She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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