the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
