I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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