It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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