found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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