U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize