it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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