Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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