I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i don't like sucking hair
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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