i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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