He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
