he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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