just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
