He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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