Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
