I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
