i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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