And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize