when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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