My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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