Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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