There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
