Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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