plz talk dirty to me
I CAN MOONWALK!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
