So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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