well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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