just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
