Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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