please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
