i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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