i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
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