Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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