What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize