that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
