its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
