i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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