is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
