Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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