Screwed.edu
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
